Francisco Jose Lomelino Alves

A hobby by an Azorean

Jokes: Here you will find some of my original jokes and others that I have stolen from others.

STATES and other JOKES


What did Delaware to the party? Her New Jersey!

What state is named after an inquisitive Irish-Chinaman? Wyoming

Which state is named after a flowering potato? Florida

A state doing heavy laundry? Washington

Name the American state that is named after a religious service with a cold: Massachusetts

The American state name after departing iron? Oregon

Identify the state named after a urinating prisoner who is bad: Wisconsin

State identified with an Irish commenting on how small something is? Hawaii


What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shivers? Nervous wreck!

Where does a space man park his space ship? A parking meteor, of course!

Why did the sheriff arrest the suspenders? He heard they were holding up pants!

When I was a kid, I worked at a pet shop. People kept asking: How big does he get!

A Portuguese fellow visits a Polish village where the people are preparing for a religious feast by putting up poles for banners. He watches on Polish fellow using a metal measuring tape trying to measure the pole. Repeatedly the measuring tape doubles and falls. Finally, the Portuguese fellow walks up and asks the Polish man what he's doing. The Polish mane says that he forgot to measure the pole to be able to put up the rope to hold the banner. So, the Portuguese fellow suggests that he remove one pole and lay it down to measure it. The Pole looks at him and smiles saying, "I need to measure the height, not the length.